stripped of everything

Prayer of Intercession for…me?

with 6 comments

So recently I’ve really been battling with prayer.
Not the idea of prayer or if prayer is something as a christian I should do.
But more so, how to connect during prayer when you’re mind seems to take you everywhere but where you desire to go. Which in this case would be in a deep connection with Him for hope, peace, assurance, healing, etc, and for the opportunity to intercede for those in need.

It seems that every time in the past four months or so that I go into a session of prayer that I can’t seem to “connect”. I close my eyes, I feel the desire and the need to talk to God, so I go.
I close my eyes.
I tell Him my thanks.
I tell Him I need Him.
Then it hits, or it doesn’t it. All it seems I am doing is speaking to air and looking like a fool.
I don’t feel any of that sensation that God is shaking his head in agreement to what I’m saying or asking.
I don’t feel as if He’s exciting about the things I say to Him, or that what I am currently being broken for is something even worth being broken for.

This non-feeling movement lasted for way too long.
It wasn’t until seven days ago at Dialogue while we were praying for the service and the people that were going to walk through the doors of the building that day, that that feeling went away.
I started praying, and as usual in the past four months, my feelings were the same.
Bland.
Empty.
Distracted.
However, this prayer was different, while I was praying for the people that were going to be attending that day, God spoke to me.
It was so clear that literally I could hear His words that said,

Kyle, something is going to happen here today. Someone’s life is going to be changed. Be ready.

I kept praying, asking him, who, and what, and why.
I received nothing back.
However, in those next 10 minutes that I sat there, God broke my heart for whoever it was that was going to be change.
I cried. (not saying that you don’t really feel God until you cry)
I felt pain for that person.
I was able to pray specifics without knowing what they were.
Then something happened that scared me.
It didn’t just scare me though.
It changed me.
I realized while I was praying that that person God was sending me into intercession for was myself.
The person who was going to be changed that morning was me.
My heart.
My life.
My desires.
They were all changing, and God was changing them for me.
He knows my heart and was filling it with passions that will make me fight for the injustice’s of the world.
These passions, that will excite me in sadness that I cannot stop.
That I cannot wait for these injustices to change from evil to good.
The only way they will change, is if I change them.

Lord,
Thank you for changing me.
Thank-you for making me seek you constantly and having the strength to do so.
Thank-you for not allowing me to give up on that connection.
Thank-you for placing the perfect people in my life to help deliver me from myself.
For Your plan and will is perfect.
I pray that you will continue to change my life.
That I will allow you to form my heart into your passions and not my own.
Amen

Don’t wait for something to change. Be the change.

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Written by vagabondrunn

August 31, 2008 at 8:39 pm

Posted in authenticity, God, Humbled

6 Responses

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  1. Kyle–You don’t know me, but I have been reading your blog for just a few weeks and really connected with this post. So often I fail miserably when I want to pray and really take the time, but then there are times when I feel those same whispers and am totally blown away at the thought that I am constantly being sought after by the One that knows me so intimately. Thank you again for the great reminder!

    Jennifer

    August 31, 2008 at 9:21 pm

  2. Kyle: This is an awesome post. We all go through distracting times when we’re trying to pray. Sometimes I go through it when I’m reading His Word too — then I really feel bad. Ugh! But your thought is correct… KEEP seeking Him and He will reward you. That is what He wants afterall… a teachable seeker. You are it!!

    Heidi Reed

    candidchatter

    August 31, 2008 at 10:29 pm

  3. i love that you never gave up. you kept searching and seeking! so inspiring!

    tam

    September 1, 2008 at 11:40 pm

  4. Nice to see that you are back… love the post… I think it can apply to many of us. Thanks for sharing.

    Michael

    September 2, 2008 at 10:35 am

  5. AMEN! haha
    yea, loved reading this.
    Sometimes we have to wait to be completley “broken” for God to really speak to us and use us. He ruins us perfectly.

    laterrr
    –ash

    agenesislife

    September 2, 2008 at 6:06 pm

  6. The prayer at the end is a good one for all of us. Well said.

    Debbie

    September 9, 2008 at 3:57 pm


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