stripped of everything

Progress through Pain

with 3 comments

I’ve learned a lot about pain recently in my life.
I’ve learned how you screw up and cause pain in someone’s life.
I’ve learned how someone else screws up and causes pain in your life.
I’ve learned that pain comes and goes all the time in your life.
I’ve learned that pain isn’t temporary while you’re here on earth.
I’ve learned however that each pain you experience is temporary.

I know I have been pretty nonexistent recently on here. At some point of your life as you go through things, they consume you and you have no choice but to pay attention to them. These things will take you away from your routine. You might not always want to step away from your routine, yet that may be the only choice. As I have stepped away I have focused a lot of my efforts, thoughts, prayers to my life as a whole. Where is it headed? What do I want to get out of it. Who are my friends, and who aren’t? When should I respond to certain things in my life. Of course the biggest question, How the heck am I to do any of this.
So yes, basically all the Who’s?
and Why’s?
Pain has been real to me through all of this. It’s true. Yet, while I have taken a lot of time to refocus and rehash some of these areas of pain along the way, I have been able to feed myself strength. My heart’s durability has been tested. The results? God is bigger than me, my efforts, my wants, my desires, my friends, my family, and most importantly right now to me, my pain. He overrides ALL of it.

So while I have been in pain and dealing with lots of heartaches, God has been making progress in my life. He’s been loving me so much that while I have placed him on the back burner, he has been working behind the scenes in my life. Whenever I was ready to pull the curtain up and call on Him again fully, He was waiting with a huge surprise.

This life is a journey, and while pain is adamant in our lives, God’s love, grace, and healing is more so.

Written by vagabondrunn

July 20, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Posted in authenticity, God, Life

3 Responses

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  1. Kyle,
    You are right on man. The more crap I go through and see others go through the more my prayers have changed. I now find that I pray much more for a heightened awareness of God than I do for healing, easy roads, or fast cars. We know, at least in our heads, that God’s power is made perfect in our weekness. My challenge is keeping that realization in my heart and thus rejoycing more as life sucks harder.

    Lord may Kyle today and always be aware of you and feel your love and power so close that abba father really makes sense!

    Bart Stewart

    July 21, 2008 at 7:17 am

  2. I wrote this awhile ago. it’s long I know, but maybe you’ll like it.

    these past couple of months have been really hard. it is one of those times where you are so sad, that your heart actually hurts. real, physical pain. ever had that happen? well anyway, it’s been tough. over break i just decided i would spend all the time i could praying and trying to depend on God and not other people. i think that is one of my major flaws… i learn to depend on people too much. and now that a lot of lines have been drawn between me and other people, truly trusting in God is my only way for sanity.

    so, that is what i did. i focused on God, completely and i love the entire experience. spending two weeks just thinking about God and reading the bible has allowed me to learn more about myself than i ever could just talking to other people. i never thought that was possible, that while learning about God i learn a lot about myself. ((you should try it sometime))

    but… school had to start again and it really depresses me. and on top of that i needed to talk to people about what has been going on. which is like, stab me in the heart type of stuff. basically, everything i had been striving for, the peace i had gained over break, went away with that annoying little bell at 7:55 saying “all right children time to go back to hell now.” ((yea, i hate school that much))

    everything kind of avalanched quickly and without warning. realizing i was a part of the world again was not comforting to me, but i had to deal with it. a tangled web of who is on who’s side began to creep up and it was like, “whoa, i did not want any of this. this was not suppose to happen.” buuuut it did.

    i found myself crying out to God and asking Him why all of this was happening? why did i feel like He had abandoned me? why did everything have to happen like this? i felt like He had hidden his face from me, and like i was lost without peace to comfort me. but then i realized…

    He never left. I was reading through my bible in Psalms and in chapter 13 i came across a cry of desperation that was similar to mine. in verses 5 and 6 the cries ended with this “But i trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. i will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.”

    God has been good to me, and i can’t believe how quickly i forgot that. my stupid, selfish human ways caused my heart to forget about His love. i created a hidden god out of fear that He wouldn’t protect me. this hidden god of my own creation had forgotten about me and left me abandoned. this hidden god did not hear my cries of desperation. this creation of my own selfish heart caused me to forget that i am loved.

    i am learning now that God is there all the time. when i am alone or in a crowd, happy or sad, full or desperate, He is always there. there is no hidden god unless i create it.

    the only thing stopping God from loving me, is me.



    July 21, 2008 at 8:53 am

  3. Good to hear that you are keeping up your prayer…I keep thinking that I should tell you to wait for those moments, those confirmation moments, when God is working in your life, and reflect on those moments and pray… He is always there, sometimes more obvious than others, but still there none-the-less.

    I don’t know, this just feels like what should be said. Take care…


    July 22, 2008 at 9:11 am

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