stripped of everything

Spiritually Broken…Numb?

with 11 comments

This is going to be more on the serious side of posts for me, and it is probably overdue.

The first thing I want to be able to do is be honest and real with everyone. Right now in my life I am experiencing something that I’ve never experienced before. I’m not talking just about my current situation in life that seems to be extremely over-bearing. What I’m talking about is even more serious than that. You see, when I used to pray, I could feel God in a way that was undescribable. During one on one time with Him, he always seemed to rock my world in ways that I didn’t believe I was ready for, yet because of him, I was.

Recently, mainly the past four(4) days, I have been taking my alone time and praying, yet I feel nothing. When I read scripture, it seems nothing more than like reading a history book in school. Prayer seems like nothing more than me talking to myself. I seek God, yet it seems I can never find Him.

I have no clue how to get out of this funk. I continue to know that He is there. I know that he loves me. I know that he is graceful beyond belief. However, I don’t feel any of that anymore. It feels as though I’m spirtually dead to this area/time period of my life.

I need that connection. I need those desires in my heart again to be felt. I need His love. I need Him.

Words of wisdom?? Advice?? Thoughts??


Written by vagabondrunn

May 5, 2008 at 8:42 am

Posted in About Me, God, Life

11 Responses

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  1. “I seek God, yet it seems I can never find Him. ”

    Testing….testing….Congratulations on taking the faith test! God is not only still there, He wants you to KNOW He is there alllll the time. 24/7. Even when warm fuzzies don’t show up. Even when you don’t feel like reading your Word. Read! He is there and He is happy because you press on even while it seems you have lost sight of him. When my 23 year old son was 8 months old and just crawling, he would crawl after me EVERYWHERE in the house. If I had to do dishes or disapeared around the corner to get his bottle, he got very upset because he couldn’t SEE me around the corner. God is around the corner waiting to see if you will still read, if you will still pray, if you will still pursue Him with the faith of that crawling baby.


    May 5, 2008 at 9:05 am

  2. Hmm…the same thing has been happening to me for about a year now. A YEAR! Not sure why?


    May 5, 2008 at 9:05 am

  3. Wow…it seems like you are describing the wilderness. I don’t have any words of wisdom other then to encourage you to continue down this path of seeking and looking for the Father. That sounds like a really churchy answer…sorry about that…but I do know that you will find Him when you seek and search. For reals. So you know…be encouraged…and I am ALWAYS always up for sharing the journey. Always. Yay for you and this new opportunity to find new things about yourself and the Spirit of God. I hope you find what you are looking for.


    May 5, 2008 at 9:28 am

  4. If you think you are alone, think again. The walk of faith is something that will go up and down in our lives, but I had a great friend and pastor tell me once when he was going through the same thing, “sometimes God is silent” for a reason.

    I really believe that there are times in our lives when we can really feel the presence of the Lord, and other times when we just feel like we are going through the motions, I think that is a normal part of the Christian walk.

    The reasons are not always known to us, but sometimes God is just silent when we call. It by NO MEANS says he isn’t there with you. I am just now coming out of a two year (yes, I said two years) funk where I did not really feel the Lord, but I knew he was there with me.

    Know that along with God, there are also other Believers that are standing by you as well. Scott

    Scott Fillmer

    May 5, 2008 at 9:36 am

  5. I don’t have a bunch of words of wisdom for you, but here’s what I do want to say:

    1. I think it is good that you’re still “walking” through this time, even when you don’t understand it.

    2. I think it is good that you’re aware enough to realize that this time is happening to you right now.

    3. I think you’re on the right track.

    That’s all I’ve got. For now.

  6. God led me to fast for a year once. I’ve never had a time in my life where I “felt” God less. But I did find that I was able to function together with God better than I ever had before.

    It sure felt different thought.

    Press on dude

    Dave Carrol

    May 5, 2008 at 2:53 pm

  7. Sorry for the length of this post, but it hit me and I felt I needed to respond. I hope that I don’t ramble to much, but here are my thoughts. I agree that there are times when I feel like I am alone. There are times when I feel that God is not there. In reality, He is just silent. Luckily we aren’t the only ones to experience times when God is silent – we all share those moments – including people in the bible. That is all the more reason why the “church” is more important. Life Groups (blog or not) are more important. Friends with whom you can confess your struggles with are more important. I know that there are times when life is moving and I can feel Him moving in me and around me… I can just feel it – I love that feeling! Then there are times when I am sitting here thinking, “Wait a minute… where are you… I miss that feeling…”

    Then something happens in my life to remind me that He is still there… it is generally more subtle and easy to miss. The times when you can easily pass it off as coincidence, but then it happens again, and then again. If you aren’t looking for it, you won’t see it. It might be as simple as turning and helping a friend. Offering a word of advice. Offering a helping hand. Starting a Blog Life Group. Reading a passage and thinking of someone else who would benefit from hearing that message. Seeing the guy on the street corner and “just feeling like you should give me a dollar.” Being a sounding board for someone else. The list can go on and on.

    For me it has been all of these events. I cannot tell you the number of times that God has used me to help someone else. Why was I there? Why me? I really believe God put me there to help that person. Did I need help? Yes. Was I struggling? Yes. Did it help me to help others? Sometimes. Is that what God intended? I really don’t know. Did I help the other person? Generally yes.

    With that being said, I leave with this one final thought:

    From (

    “…..Benedict XVI responded that “we all, even though we believe, experience this silence of God.”

    “A book was just published on the spiritual experiences of Mother Teresa, and what we have known is now more openly presented: With all her charity, her strength of faith, Mother Teresa suffered the silence of God,” he said.

    The Pope was referring to the book “Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light,” written by Father Brian Kolodiejchuk, postulator for the cause of canonization of the founder of the Missionaries of Charity. The book, published 10 years after the nun’s death, is a compilation of her letters and writings.

    Benedict XVI continued: “On one hand, we have to endure this silence of God, partly in order to understand our brethren who don’t know God.”

    On the other, he said, “we can always yell out again to God: ‘Talk, show yourself!’ And without a doubt, if the heart is open, we can discover the great moments of our life in which the presence of God is truly perceptible, even to us.”

    Seeing God.”


    May 5, 2008 at 3:43 pm

  8. @Dave, unreal… right back at you, wow.

    Scott Fillmer

    May 5, 2008 at 6:31 pm

  9. I think I’m just going to echo what other people have said. Sometimes it’s about the still small voice in the wilderness. Can we feel God without the tools we use to bring ourselves to Him. Is he enough in a way?

    I mean I love the idea of the Angel of the Lord showing up outside my tent but in the lives of those in the OT it wasn’t an every day occurence. You can point to the pillar of fire/cloud when Israel were wandering around but even Abraham in the time he lived only had that real encounter with God on a few occasions. We don’t know what the rest of the time was like but we do know he was faithful. Cling onto what you know. And keep persevering

    Red Wine Gums

    May 5, 2008 at 10:17 pm

  10. Faith Test. I’ve been there, and I sense that I may be heading there again in the very near future.

    Walk in what you know. Feelings are elusive and finicky and sometimes a crutch to the actual experience of God.

    But you know Him. You know He never leaves nor forsakes. WALK in what you KNOW.

    The silver lining? When the “silence” ends, I’d be willing to bet that God will have some pretty amazing things to say to you. 🙂


    May 6, 2008 at 5:09 am

  11. If you are experiencing a life issue you have never experienced before, perhaps God is calling you to chase hard after Him in a way you have never had to before.

    It is easy to run with Him when He runs…it’s exciting. Being still before Him when He is still is harder. It does not mean you have been abandoned or set aside. He is constantly at work in you, refining you, stretching and building and strengthing your faith.

    In these quiet times when circumstances seems to be beyond your control, Jesus is climbing into your boat, seeking to calm you instead of calming the storm. The storm is not nearly as meaningful or important to Him as you are. Trust Him. “peace…be still.”

    Nobody Special

    May 7, 2008 at 7:33 am

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